haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
