Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
