you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
