i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
