You can't motorboat a personality
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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