I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
