bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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