she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
