Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
