After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it's great music for shaving your balls
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
