True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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