Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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