K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
