We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
When are your genitals available?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
