the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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