update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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