OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize