so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize