I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
