Walk of Shame. In a state park.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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