I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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