I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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