office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
