i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
