You can't motorboat a personality
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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