two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
