I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
