I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
