Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
