party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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