margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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