Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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