In the future we'll all be gay
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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