My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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