sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize