I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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