i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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