You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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