I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
