Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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