The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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