But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
