Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have feelings that need drinking.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
