Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I faked an abortion last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
