I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
