We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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