Her vagina should come with caution tape.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
