Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This gyro tastes like lonliness
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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