I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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