Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
