I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
