so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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