It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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