There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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