I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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