and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
