the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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