she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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