I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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